For those of you who don’t know, I’m an engineer. Yeah that’s right… how impressed are you now that I’m able to semi-consistently put together these strings of words that are occasionally coherent and sometimes grammatically correct? Well, in the engineering world, (as well as everywhere, I suppose) there is a growing encouragement to use AI tools to improve workflow and increase speed of development.* So today, I opened Microsoft Copilot for the first time (at least intentionally) and asked “write a blog post for bigtenelimination.com. The results are the previous post… So let’s see how it did!***
š The Final Whistle: Big Ten Elimination Drama Hits Fever Pitch
As the leaves turn and the air thickens with anticipation, one truth remains: survival in the Big Ten is a weekly war. The conference that gave us legends like Archie Griffin, Charles Woodson, and Saquon Barkley is now a battleground where every snap could be a season-ender. This paragraph is alright, I guess… It sounds like AI bullshit, but I suppose so does a lot of the non-artificial, non-intelligent stuff I’ve posted on here… Also, that last part is less true than ever now that 25% of the conference can make the playoffs.
š„ Rivalries Reign Supreme
Forget the playoff committee for a moment. In the Big Ten, elimination often comes not from rankings but from rivalries. It’s clear that AI does not understand what the big ten elimination game is, but since most of the site isn’t about the actual game, I guess I’ll give it a pass. Michigan vs. Ohio State. Penn State vs. Michigan State. Is that still a rivalry? I think that matchup used be the last game of the season, but that was when I was in school …(checks math) damn… 20 years ago These arenāt just gamesātheyāre legacy-defining moments. One missed tackle, one blown coverage, and your playoff hopes vanish faster than a tailgate brat on game day. Again, clearly not when you can lose to a 7-5 rival with whose passing game was both figuratively and literally cancer, come in 4th in the conference, and still win the National Championship.
Let’s side bar for a minute for some real-actual content… I’m not one of the U-M fans that’s trying to de-legitimize OSU’s championship. They may have been the best team in the country last year. They maybe even went through the toughest last 4 games in history to win it. What I am saying is that I liked it better when the regular season actually mattered. I guess I’m saying I wish the AI bullshit here was MORE accurate. Ok, back the the show…
š The Elimination Equation Oh good! Equations! I’m an engineer. I love equations. AI should be good at this.
This season, the math is brutal. Uh-huh, I’m listening… With the East Nope. stacked and the WestAlso doesn’t exist anymore unpredictableI guess if by unpredictible, you mean “sucked in new and surprising ways every season”, even a one-loss team can find itself on the outside looking in. Zero one or even two-loss teams from the BIG TEN did not make the playoffs last year. Also, that’s it?? Mentioning the number “one” is your “math” and “equation”? Fuck you AI. The margin for error? Razor-thin. The stakes? Nothing short of immortality. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!! or I guess four now that there’s more playoff spots than “real” Big Ten teams…
- Michigan: Can J.J. McCarthy carry the Wolverines past Columbus again? I mean… if he does, I don’t think even I could argue against NCAA sanctions.
- Ohio State: Is Kyle McCord ready for the pressure cooker of The Game? Is he even allowed in the state of Ohio anymore?
- Iowa: Will the defense bail out an offense thatās allergic to touchdowns? No.
Ok, that’s enough of that… If you want to critique the rest of that post, feel free to do so in the comments. I’m sure that’ll help drive up my interaction score for the algorithm… Now I’ll I’ve got to do is add an algorithm… and ads… That’s the key, right? Find ways to enshitify this content and then I start making money? Yes? Good.. Great. I myself have had enough AI for one… season? On the plus side, if AI does start replacing engineers, I have some to fall back on my lucrative career as an unpaid shitty sports blog author. But maybe you read that last post and thought it was fine… In which case, ouch, Brandon. I hope your kids like their Christmas gifts this year. I’ll make sure it’s as loud and obnoxious as possible. Forget volume buttons, I’m talking no off switch… And a solar powered rechargeable battery!
The only glimmer of hope I had during this experiment was that when I first submitted the prompt, I was greeted with “Since I can’t access that site directly, I’ll craft what I imagine it will be about”. I was excited that AI might not actually be able to crawl my site. Then I realized, I misspelled the URL… Now I’m just bummed that graphics cards cost $3000 so that data mines can rip off my dumb content to churn out this even worse garbage.
*Probably so we become less useful and can ultimately be replaced by the machines we’re being encouraged to utilize… How meta would it be now if we actually did live in the Matrix**
**And by Matrix, I obviously mean the previously established 14-year-olds NCAA 14 Dynasty
***Spoiler alert: not good.
Excellent! I was pretty confused at the first one. And then you really brought this home. I know that LOL is FAR overused, and often means little. But I actually laughed out loud. Awesome as always!!