I bet you guys came here expecting some letters and words arranged in a way that would describe Ohio State or Penn State or Michigan State or Iowa this week.\u00a0 Well, sorry, but you’ll have to go to a real football website for that.\u00a0 I’ve got two more important issues that I have to rant about this week.. Like the title suggests, this post may contain vulgarity, profanity, verbanity, and just all around not nice things so if this offends you please stop reading now.<\/p>\n
Topic One:\u00a0 Eastern Michigan ruined college football.\u00a0 Ok that’s probably not fair… let’s try this again.\u00a0 I blame Eastern Michigan for dropping the deuce that would roll down poop mountain creating a crap snowball that a team of oil drillers would attempt to stop by shoving a bunch of dynamite inside and blowing it up… and you know what you get then?\u00a0 Shit all over the big house.<\/p>\n
Let me explain.\u00a0 Michigan had a great marching band.\u00a0 They were loud, they were good, the halftime shows were entertaining… Then sometime around my sophomore year the University of Michigan decided to replace a perfectly good band director with some jackass from EMU (This was the deuce).\u00a0 This band director was highly praised and I’m sure was very talented (I know this because my EMU friends bitched about how we stole their “fantastic” band director).\u00a0 Now I know a good concert band has all sorts of subtlety, and crescendos alliteration and all that other bullshit, and I know I’m no award winning band director.\u00a0 But here’s another thing that I know:\u00a0 When you’re playing in a stadium of 114,000 people, forget all that.\u00a0 Play as loud as you fucking can.\u00a0 Because when the students who are right in front of you can’t tell what you’re playing because it’s too quiet* you know who else can’t hear you?\u00a0 EVERYONE ELSE IN THE DAMN STADIUM!!\u00a0 (That was the snowball)<\/p>\n
Fast Forward 7 years or so.\u00a0 The band has gotten a little louder, I think the director had been replaced, but Michigan Football is suffering for other reasons.\u00a0 This is the David Brandon era.\u00a0 (He is the poop driller in this analogy).\u00a0 Ticket sales are down.\u00a0 The football team sucks.\u00a0 I’ve graduated and moved out of Ann Arbor and into the stupid real world\/my parents’ basement.\u00a0 David Brandon is making “upgrades” to the stadium.\u00a0 Michigan fans had always taken pride in the old school tradition.\u00a0 Yost was a barn.\u00a0 The Big House didn’t pump in loud music like Penn State.\u00a0 We didn’t amplify our crowd noise to be more intimidating.\u00a0 David Brandon “fixed” this.\u00a0 I’ve been to one or two games a year since I’ve left.\u00a0 I’ve gotten used to hearing “Seven Nation Army” over the speaker system.\u00a0 I’ve cringed at that stupid Pop-Evil song. But I’ve enjoyed “The Team” videos and James Earl Jones.\u00a0 There was still a good mix of “temptation” and the drum line between quarters and enough new traditional band stuff to keep it balanced.<\/p>\n
Yesterday during the halftime show I thought “wow they’re actually loud again!\u00a0 Maybe even louder… too loud.. then I saw a rack of speakers (This is the dynamite blowing dookie all over the stadium) on the field in front of the band.\u00a0 and noticed the delay between the real sound of the band and the electronic sound pumped through the speakers.\u00a0 Maybe I’m old, but come on… your instruments are supposed to be loud as hell.. There’s a reason why there are mutes and drum pads for playing indoors (It’s because those instruments are LOUD!).\u00a0 Get rid of the damn speakers.\u00a0 Hit the drums harder.\u00a0 Add more people if you have to… I know there are plenty of reserves that would love to get on the field.\u00a0 Don’t be Penn State.\u00a0 Damn you Eastern Band Director.<\/p>\n
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Get Off My Lawn!<\/p>\n
* Also because they’re drunk.<\/p>\n
(Topic Two will be at a later post as this one got way to long)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I bet you guys came here expecting some letters and words arranged in a way that would describe Ohio State or Penn State or Michigan State or Iowa this week.\u00a0 Well, sorry, but you’ll have to go to a real football website for that.\u00a0 I’ve got two more important issues that I have to rant … <\/p>\n