{"id":588,"date":"2019-10-05T02:26:28","date_gmt":"2019-10-05T06:26:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bigtenelimination.com\/?p=588"},"modified":"2019-10-07T11:18:33","modified_gmt":"2019-10-07T15:18:33","slug":"10-4-2019-im-back","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bigtenelimination.com\/index.php\/2019\/10\/05\/10-4-2019-im-back\/","title":{"rendered":"10\/4\/2019 I’m Back!"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Turns out when your team sucks it’s hard to get motivated to write about football. (looks back at the season predictions) Hey! we already jumped to week 14! But Doug, aren’t you feeling better after last week<\/span><\/em>? No. Rutgers isn’t a real Big Ten team. They’re hardly good enough to be a MAC team… Maybe not even a football team… I’m pretty sure The Lahser Knights could beat Rutgers… And they’re a high-school team… that doesn’t even exist anymore… The only thing Rutgers can do well is lose Heisman candidate running backs to other Big Ten Schools. Nothing about a performance against Rutgers is indicative of your team’s ability to football in any other game of football*<\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

On the plus side I don’t get to watch any football tomorrow because friends of mine continue to not pick one of the other 353.25 days a year to schedule a wedding. Have I covered this topic here before? Well It’s better than having to talk about actual football at this point so here we go. First I’d like to give credit to this particular couple. I know that fall weddings are a thing, and I know these particular planners considered the football schedule when choosing the date. An opposite division non-rival game is not the worst choice if you really want to get married between September and December. It’s not their fault that it ended up being the game that may reveal potential for a good year or a 6 loss team that should consider a new coaching search. So to the couple that made an effort: I appreciate it, and I hope you have a lovely day tomorrow. But let’s focus on those that don’t. Those that plan a wedding (or other event**) on Michigan vs Michigan State day, or Michigan vs Ohio State*** day, or Michigan State vs Notre Dame etc. But maybe they don’t care about college football. <\/em><\/span> Yeah, but they should know if their friends and family do, especially if a significant portion of the attendees are people with whom you spent 7 years in the Student Section developing this life-long bond of friendship. Oh so you’re choosing football over your close friend’s significant life event?<\/em><\/span> No. They’re choosing a specific arbitrary day out of 360+ other days (50 if you insist on Saturday****) for their significant event without consideration for a large portion of their closest friends and family. Now if they’re are reasons for this date then fine. Are you in the military and this is the only time that works before you get shipped out? Cool! Can’t wait for the big day man, thanks for your service. You just like this country club a little bit better than that country club and this was one of the 5 Saturdays that were available this year? You kind of suck. Now I’m not saying I won’t go… If your a good friend, or family member, or someone that my wife thinks is important enough to skip football for, I will go. I will have fun. I will say congratulations. And I will hate you a little bit the whole night. Here’s your wedding gift. I paid for it with the money I didn’t spend on tickets this week… Enjoy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tune in next week when I talk about how you shouldn’t schedule weddings on holiday weekends. You may think it’s more convenient for everybody since they already have the time off but it’s not. Now you’re just scheduling my holidays for me. I don’t need that. Schedule it on a normal weekend. If I like you I’ll figure out how to make it. And I’ll have a great time because ‘Hey, I’m on Vacation! Normally I’d be at work right now but because of you I’m having way more fun hanging out and drinking free booze! Thanks buddy!’ <\/p>\n\n\n\n

…<\/em><\/span> What? Isn’t that kind of the whole topic then?<\/em><\/span> Oh… Yeah I guess it kind of is… crap. Guess I’ll have to go back to talking about football next week… <\/p>\n\n\n\n

*Ok there are SOME encouraging signs that we can take out of that game but I still don’t want to talk about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

**My dad actually accidentally scheduled a memorial for that day once but I don’t blame him… It was clearly the ghost of my Aunt just trying to mess with me. Don’t believe me? It was October 17 2015. I was watching the ending on a phone while cleaning up after the service.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

***Although based on the last 20 years this could be the kindest thing anyone could do for a Michigan fan I suppose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

****Worst case 26 if you insist on Saturday, live in Michigan and want a decent shot at good weather… But if that’s the case, you shouldn’t be picking MSU or OSU weekends anyway. Statistically it’s going to be 36 degrees or a monsoon. That’s just bad decision making.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Turns out when your team sucks it’s hard to get motivated to write about football. (looks back at the season predictions) Hey! we already jumped to week 14! But Doug, aren’t you feeling better after last week? No. Rutgers isn’t a real Big Ten team. They’re hardly good enough to be a MAC team… Maybe … <\/p>\n

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