PSA: Indiana’s game this week has been cancelled. They are attempting to schedule a game for October 7th. DO NOT PICK INDIANA THIS WEEK! Thanks to Kelly for bringing this to my attention
Well I don’t know about you but I watched a lot of very bad football this weekend… Michigan and Cincinnati looked like Purdue and … some other team who can’t catch a football (to be fair, it is shaped weird… all oblong and pointy.. and they fill those things with WAY too much air). I don’t usually watch or care about pro football but good god Lions, that first quarter! This is your job! The only dumber option on that return would have been to run out of the end-zone and then run back in for a safety… That would have actually been a SMARTER option for the punter…. And then there was Rutgers vs Eastern. Some of you didn’t pay attention to Rule 7! These two teams decided to play “Who can lose the best!”… We’re in range for a game tying field goal? Interception. You’ve got the ball back but need 15 yards to be back in field goal range? Personal foul… Hey Thanks Now we can tie the game again! Just kidding… hands to the face…. The result of this dumpster fire: Eastern Michigan comes away with their first EVER win over ANY Big Ten Team*. Several of you were eliminated. Sorry**
Nebraska:
While Penn State started the process of ruining the Big Ten through stupid expansions, I blame Nebraska for most of it. The Big Ten was perfectly fine before adding Wisconsin Part 2. But hey, at least this kinda made sense. They fit in well with other teams like Iowa. They’re usually a pretty good football team. Adding them put the conference at an even number of 12 teams again (which confused the hell out of non-sports fans… “No, we’re the Big Ten. we have 12 teams now… Because there’s already a Big 12. No they only have 10 teams… because Big 12 is a stupid name for a conference. I’M TRYING TO WATCH IOWA VS IOWA STATE!”). They like corn… They lost to Oregon this week so they probably won’t be too much of a threat for a trip to Indy this year… but who knows, maybe Oregon’s new coach has made them good already? I don’t care… Scott Frost sucks.
Northwestern:
Somewhere in the mid 90s (because that’s when everything good happened) a bunch of smart people at Northwestern figured out how to make a relevant football team at a school full of artsy nerds. No offense to Northwestern. I’m a nerd and my wife is super artsy.. I like Northwestern. Anyway in 1995 they went to the rose bowl. The past few years they’ve looked like a team that could be really good, upsets a few good teams, and then kinda reveals the chinks in the armor… Losing to Duke this week doesn’t make this season much more hopeful. I know I’m gonna take some heat for this from my new family but… Duke is the worst right?. I mean… Duke is… like… the Zach Morris of colleges. If Duke were good at football, or if basketball were important in months not named March, Duke and Notre Dame would have to fight for the title of most hated school in the country… (Wait a minute… Irish Catholics vs Satan Smurfs? This rivalry needs to happen!)
Michigan State:
Oh here we go… U of M fan about to trash “little brother” again.. We all know where this is going… MSU will be fine. Honestly I thought they would be fine this year even after last year’s implosion. They had a ton of young players. And they had LJ Scott. And hopefully they pick a QB who didn’t suck. Then they lost like 10 players in the offseason… which means everyone is questioning Dantonio. Which means everyone thinks they’ll be terrible. Which means… they’re exactly where Mark Dantonio wants them. MSU Always plays better as the underdog. I wouldn’t be surprised if Dantonio set those kids up just so MSU would look bad.. I’m just kidding.. I hate him but he’s a good coach. This year? They’ll be bad. Probably not John L Smith bad (they still have LJ Scott and … not John L Smith). Last year they lost to 4 bad teams in a row partly because they were saving all of their good plays for the Michigan game. Fortunately this year’s schedule prevents this because A) They play ND this week. Spartans hate the Irish almost as much as the Wolverines and B) There’s only one other game before they travel to Ann Arbor. They’ve got kind of a rough schedule but a win this weekend could provide some hope for a respectable season. I hope they win. Notre Dame is the Duke of schools I hate.
Get your picks in!
*Just kidding. Rutgers doesn’t count. Eastern is still winless
**Only sorry because my wife was one of them. I don’t care about the rest of you.
