10/26/2023 This is all one big misunderstanding

So I was called out in the comments for not bringing up the sign stealing in my last post. I responded by saying it hadn’t come out at the time of writing the article. But I need to be honest. I knew this was coming out. I was aware of what was going on. Because I did it. I purchased tickets to numerous Big Ten football games under what I thought was a fake name. I sent colleagues to these games with high tech video surveillance equipment. I analyzed the tape. I deconstructed teams’ game plans. I evaluated player potential. I friggen watched Rutgers… I did this all so I could present you, the reader, with the high-quality team-by-team analysis you’ve come to expect from this blog. You’re welcome (and please increase donations… tickets are expensive).

Little did I know, that the fake name I used to purchase these tickets, Connor Stalions, was not only a real person,* but an employee of The University of Michigan Football program in charge of stealing opponents’ signs! What are the odds of that?! Well there it is.. I apologize to the Big Ten, The University of Michigan, and football fans as a whole. Sorry for the confusion and for wasting everyone’s time. Now… let’s get back to focusing on… Really? Ok fine… you want to hear my real thoughts on the topic Well, I’m imaginary and in your head, so I probably already know and/or don’t care? But yes, you should put that here.

Let’s start off with this: Sign stealing is not illegal. Every team tries to steal the other team’s signs. And I don’t mean every college football team. I mean every team. It’s the reason for indicators, wipe offs, and changed signals between innings. It’s the reason the kids sitting on the bench aren’t bored out of there minds.** Yelling out “steal” and watching a grown man’s frustration at a bunch of 14 year olds decoding his touch-nose-to-leg-swipe is a special kind of joy. Matt Rhule does a great job of summarizing this. The “evidence” of Conner Stalions pictures on Michigan’s sideline is not damming. These are pictures of the Michigan staff member whose job it is to steal signs… attempting to steal signs. The only thing this proves is that he didn’t do a good enough job (that play resulted in a touchdown).

Sign stealing is not the rule that Michigan allegedly broke because, again, sign stealing is not against NCAA rules.

The rule that Michigan allegedly broke is about in-person scouting. According to certain articles and twitterers, the NCAA has been given evidence that Michigan broke the NCAA bylaws rule 11.6 which states “Off-campus, in-person scouting of future opponents (in the-same season) is prohibited, except as provided in Bylaws 11.6.1.1 and 11.6.1.2.” This is an incredibly stupid rule created in 1994 to keep the schools that could afford to travel from having an advantage… You know… so the school paying its coach $10 million a year doesn’t have an unfair advantage over the school paying its coach… whatever EMU coach Chris Creighton makes. The rule does not prohibit scouting teams you don’t play that year and specifically allows for attending conference and NCAA championship games. The rule also does not clearly define who is forbidden from attending other games. The exceptions state allowances for “institutional staff members” but the rule itself is not specific.

So let’s talk about in-person scouting. Every school does this. And again, I don’t mean every college… I mean every school. Lahser High School did this and they were by no means a football powerhouse. Hell… East Hills Middle School, which fed into this non-football-powerhouse also did this. Does every school break the NCAA rule and send staffers to opponent games during the year? Probably not… partially because those staffers probably have better things to do on Saturdays from September through November. But do I think there are programs around the country with “unofficial contacts” providing scouting details on future opponents? Absolutely. Jim Harbaugh attending an MSU vs Indiana game is (currently) against the rules. Me attending a Rutgers game and writing an unsolicited e-mail to Jim Harbaugh saying their snap counts are never more than three because they can’t count that high… probably isn’t. There’s a line somewhere and that is likely what Michigan will have to argue and the NCAA will have to decide.

There’s also a lot of mention of another rule surrounding recording equipment. The NCAA rulebook Article 11-h states “Any attempt to record, either through audio or video means, any signals given by an opposing player, coach or other team personnel is prohibited.” This rule, however, is under the section governing on-field equipment you’re allowed to use during your own games. It essentially means you can’t use directional microphones, zoomed video cameras, drones, etc. to try to listen in on what the current opponent is saying in the huddle/on the sideline. It doesn’t (or at least arguably isn’t intended to) cover spectators in the stands unaffiliated with the teams playing. This, to be fair, doesn’t matter if the person using the equipment isn’t allowed to be at the game anyway.

So that is what we know so far. But what are my thoughts on the matter? Let’s start with this: Does sign stealing provide a competitive advantage? Of course. If it didn’t, nobody would do it. Is it a 42-27 advantage, or a 45-23 advantage, or had any real measurable effect on the outcome of Michigan’s games this year? Absolutely not. I also don’t care if James Bond hand delivered your opponent a powerpoint of every signal you used last week. Change them before the game. Use wrist guards with play sheets. Don’t be dumb. If they use them against you, that’s on you. In 2021, Michigan didn’t need to look at Ohio State signal callers to decide to run Hassan Haskins and company up the middle 41 times in the snow. In 2022, Ohio State claimed they suspected Michigan of sign stealing, so they changed the signs before the game. And they lost by 3 scores instead of 2. So either A) Ohio State lied, and didn’t change their play calls, which would make them idiots, B) Lied didn’t suspect Michigan of sign stealing but said they did, which would make them look like idiots for complaining about sign stealing in the first place, or C) told the truth and sign stealing didn’t matter. So no, none of this “taints” my opinion of Michigan’s success.

Did Michigan do anything against the rules? Probably. It is a stupid rule that many other schools break, but it is a rule and if Michigan broke it, and they get reasonably punished for it, that’s fine. Michigan pays some fines. Maybe a suspension or probation. Conner Stalions is done in college football… If it turns out that those higher than Stalions were directly involved, maybe a little more. Do I think that’s a possibility? Maybe… I see arguments all over the internet that a guy on a 55k salary isn’t buying 30 tickets to football games on his own. The guy is an ex-military Captain in his 20s. He’s may not be loaded, but he’s got disposable income and parents with enough money to help him with a down payment on a house in Ann Arbor… He’s also got a 600 page manifesto about Michigan football. He’s a Michigan superfan trying to find an in with the program. As a guy who just saw an auto-renewal charge for a blog that a few of his buddy’s read, yeah, I think it’s possible he bought the tickets without any help/knowledge from the higher ups. I also think if the higher ups were involved, it’s likely they would have been more discrete about it.

So am I mad that Michigan is stealing signs? Am I embarrassed that my football program may be cheating? No. Rules are rules, but despite what some delusional Michigan State Slappy Detroit radio hosts might say, not all rules are the same. In the real world, everyone goes 46 in a 45 and doesn’t expect to be thrown in jail. I’m mad that this post is probably more accurate and unbiased than most of the professional media reporting on this. “This is worse than both the Astros and the Patriots …” – Ryan Day, probably.*** The Astros installed electronic equipment to relay live signals directly to batters at the plate, telling them what pitch was coming next. I’m mad professionals and “news outlets” are comparing this to what Michigan is alleged to have been doing. I’m mad that if Stalions did know he was breaking the rules that he was dumb enough to buy the tickets in his own name, and I’m mad that Michigan hired someone that dumb. If he didn’t know the rules, then I’m embarrassed that the Michigan Football program wouldn’t tell the guy in charge of sign stealing “Hey, here are the rules. Make sure you know them… and especially don’t get caught breaking them for information that we basically already have access to from TV broadcasts, and All-22 feed subscriptions.” I do think the NCAA is targeting Michigan for things they would find at any other school if they looked hard enough. I’m angry that Michigan knew the sheriff had it out for them and was still driving over the speed limit right in front of the police station.

*and not, as my friend adamantly insists, a porn star stage name. Comment if you want credit! Hope you don’t mind me “borrowing” your joke. WhatsApp chats are like scrolling electronic signs, so I thought it was fine…

**Well, that and the big league chew and sunflower seeds…

***I have no evidence that Ryan Day is actually the “Big Ten Source” that ESPN cowardly let remain anonymous.