Hi Everybody! Nobody is going to read this because it’s not football season but I’m bored so here’s some stuff about things that are going on.
It’s March which, if you’ve been following along, means that Duke is now Notre Dame, Notre Dame (still) sucks, and the whole country places bets based on which teams’ names they kinda remember from when they last heard them 11 months ago. That’s right it’s basketball season! And that’s all I’ve got for that topic… If you want more, convince Eric to do a guest post. He knows this stuff.
So… What else is going on… Oh! Remember Jim McElwain? The guy I kept making fun of for banging that shark*? Well Michigan hired him… because I guess I deserved that… and because Harbaugh thought the way to improve after his worst class yet was to hire the guy who couldn’t recruit in the state of Florida… AT FLORIDA!. Historically there have only been 3 easier recruiting tasks in college football: 3. Recruiting Ohio kids to OSU 2. “Recruiting” California kids to USC from 2000-2009 1. Anybody recruiting anyone away from Rutgers. On the plus side maybe Ed Warinner can take a bad offensive line, lose ts only good player, add zero significant new names to the roster, and turn it into something better than “suck”…
Also David Brandon is the worst**. First he ruins Domino’s (which pioneered delivery*** and didn’t used to taste like cardboard). Then he kills my football team. And now he’s destroying the memories and future childhoods of the entire American Population. For those of you who don’t know, David Brandon is(was?) now the CEO of Toys R Us. Also for those of you who don’t know, Toys R Us is bankrupt and closing all of their stores. And don’t you try to tell me that it’s not his fault or blame Amazon or the $5 billion in debt that Toys R Us accumulated 10 years before Brandon took over… It’s Brandon’s fault. It’s always his fault… “I didn’t wanna grow up, cause when I did… this jackass killed everything I loved as a kid.” Does Toys R Us sell toy sharks? Maybe we can lure Jim McElwain into an abandoned Toys R Us with David Brandon and never hear from either of them again. Then Michigan can hire Geoffrey as the new WR coach. He’s gonna need a job and after a decade of those Nickelodeon Super Toy Run shopping sprees I bet that guy is a route running genius.
* Allegedly
**This is the absolute nicest way I could write that statement… it went through several drafts.
***Times up. Three bucks off”