I figured I’d send out a preview of my Pulitzer prize winning football analysis (you know… if they gave Pulitzers for e-mails… or bad college football analysis).
Maryland:
Last year was DJ Durkin’s first year as head coach after leaving his Defensive Coordinator position at Michigan. He had and ok first season, beating most of the bad teams and losing to all of the good teams. They went 6-7, losing in their bowl game against Boston College. While they may get better talent wise under Derkalerk’s second, year their record may not reflect it… They open against Texas which while being kind of a dumpster fire the past few years is: 1) still Texas and 2) making the right moves by hiring former Houston Star Head Coach and lying backstabbing traitor: Tom Herman (Go Coogs! \ln/ ) to lead their team in 2017*. They also play Wisconsin, OSU, Michigan, Penn State, and (sure why not) Michigan State. They will also have a new starting QB this season. They’re gonna lose some games. Also they’re not a real Big Ten team… It’s called the “Big TEN”, not the “Big Ten and Two Stupid East Coast Schools”… Only 12 schools allowed**.
Illinois:
Illinois used to be one of those teams that’s just good enough to pull off one major upset a season… Then they trusted in Tim Beckman(bad)… Then they fired Tim Beckman and got even worse. Last year they hired former NFL coach Lovie Smith to try to right the ship… and again got even worse. They finished 3-9. One of those wins was against Rutgers (AND they let Rutgers score a TD, so that game should really only be counted as a tie). They’re not good. Fortunately for their toughest non-conference opponent is USF. Their Big Ten schedule includes both Rutgers AND Purdue. They could win a few games… like literally 3. Maybe they’ll be just good enough to attract some crazy fast offensive dude and get back to bad but still fighting Illini in the next few years. Illinois offenses used to be fun to watch (or maybe I was just young and liked their orange and blue uniforms)…
That’s it for now…
You’ll have to join*** the league for review of the good teams (and Rutgers****)
* See I occasionally even include content relevant to my non-Big-Ten audience. You’re welcome, Amanda.
**Just kidding,.. Penn State and Nebraska should get the hell out too
***Or quit because you these e-mails are long and stupid. Fine, go then. Better odds for the rest of us. It’s not like I have feelings or anything.. No wait, come back! You don’t have to read them! Just ignore them and send me your picks every week. The reply button is right at the top, see? You don’t even have to scroll down!
****Also Purdue