Maryland:
Maryland, like Rutgers, is not a Big Ten team so I don’t HAVE* to preview them…. But since so many Big Ten teams seem to play them for some reason, I’ll do it anyway. Pro – They have a QB Taulia Tagavailoa (Tua’s brother) who is exciting and good enough to blow out bad teams. Con – He’s probably not good enough to beat good teams without… you know… help. Pro – Taulia Tagavailoa is a pretty cool name Con – It’s not as cool as Tyrell “Piggy” Pigrome. Pro – (151) Girl smashes beer on her face and chugs it – YouTube Con – Maryland’s QBs historically are not as durable as that girl’s face. They usually all get murdered by week 4. They’ll bet bad teams, lose to good ones and probably get some free chicken wings at at a bowl game in January.
Purdue:
Look, you want to know a secret? Most of my opinions on teams are based on small amounts of game footage that I can remember watching over the past few years.. This is usually from flipping channels during commercial breaks of Michigan games** or watching a Big Ten team play a bad team because I picked them that week… Unfortunately since football didn’t exist last year it means most of my information for these reviews is 2-3 years old…. SO Purdue is a dirty team that has some talent but will blow games late in the 4th by committing between 2 and 5 dumbass personal foul and/or roughing the kicker penalties that will turn 4th and 13s into 1st and 10s. They will injure your team’s QB in the only year they have a chance to beat OSU and go to Indy and then not have an X-Ray machine within a reasonable proximity to the football stadium despite being a university with a well respected medical program. In this case the analysis holds up…Purdue is still this school. Jeff Brohm is still the coach. They still commit dumb penalties. They’ll still probably win an unexpected game (probably not OSU this year…) and blow the easy ones (they’re currently supposed to lose to Nebraska). Maybe they have an X-Ray machine now? I don’t know, they don’t show that on TV during commercial breaks…
*You don’t HAVE to preview anything. 2 people read this blog… and anything actually interesting you’ve already told them 3 other times already anyway…
**Which nowadays are long enough that I am basically watching 2 full games if they sync up correctly… so yeah