Wow… I know I said I wanted Purdue to be good but that was scary for a while there…
Wisconsin:
I am 90% sure that there is no chance Wisconsin doesn’t end up in Indy this year. 1) They may be the best team in the Big Ten. 2) the Big Ten West sucks. Now that Nebraska is terrible, the second best team in the west* is… Maybe Purdue??? (probably not… it’s probably Iowa or Minnesota, but it could be Purdue!) 3) Look at their schedule! They don’t play OSU, They don’t play MSU, They don’t play Penn State. The only game they might not be favored in is at home against Michigan. Even if they lose (god that’s gonna be a boring game if you don’t like defense… could be another no touchdowns going into the 4th quarter) they should be 8-1 in the Big Ten… Troy Fumagalli is awesome. Alex Hornibrook… has a pretty cool name. Wisconsin may be the only team in the Big Ten that isn’t currently overrated…. They’ll still get killed in the playoffs if they make it though…
Michigan:
This is it, the one everyone’s been waiting for (Because they’re Michigan fans, or because they’re a Spartan who knows I’m a pessimist when it comes to my sports teams, or because it’s the last one and they’re foolishly hoping I’ll stop writing these!). I was at a wedding Saturday night* so I got to experience this game in two different ways. 1) via game updates and sporadic video streaming during non-key parts of the reception and 2) the next day after watching the full game via DVR.
My impression of Michigan after (1): Good god we suck.. The O-Line is worse than last year. Speight is terrible. John O’Korn is Grandpa Simpson. How the hell does QB whispering Harbaugh have this many highly touted options and these terrible results in year 3? Where is Brandon Peters?!!? Dammit (insert name of terrible WR) catch the football! Don Brown is awesome!
Then I watched it at home. And my impression was: The O-Line is not good but maybe Purdue is ok? Speight sucks but wasn’t helped out by his O-Line. How was that not a late hit? John O’Korn was good. He missed some throws but made some amazing plays to compensate for a sometimes very bad o-line. The pick wasn’t a great throw but was only an interception because of very bad luck. Brandon Peters can stay on the sideline as long as O’Korn plays like this. He should definitely start in 2 weeks against MSU. Dammit (terrible WR) catch the football! Zach Gentry is my new favorite player. Don Brown is awesome! But.. why did Purdue stop running the bootleg right, throw left to the wide open guy? I mean throwing across your body like that is a REALLY hard throw that’s likely to get picked off when its a floating duck, but that was working… Sure seemed like they could have tried that a few more times in the second half…
Michigan is not as good as they were last year… But they may be ok. The defense will keep them in games. If things go well they’ll compete for a Big Ten Championship. If that goes well then there is a good chance that… they get killed in the CFP by a defense that destroys their O-Line…
That’s it! That’s all the teams in the Big Ten! I’ll see you guys la… what? No I got them all… who? Rutg… How many times do we have to go through this? Rutgers is not a real Big Ten Team. They might not even be a real football team! But Doug, they almost beat Nebraska** haven’t you been paying attention?? Nebraska SUCKS! But Doug, they’ve been playing football longer than any other school in the country. Does this look like a team that is “Playing Football” to you!?! 
They’re terrible at everything. Did you try to read that “Order of the bulls blood letter?? The only logical reason for allowing them in the Big Ten is to let other school(s) feel better about not being the worst school in the Big Ten anymore. I know… they claim it was to gain interest from the east coast.. but do you know who people from the East Coast are more interested in than Rutgers? Pretty much any team that was already in the Big Ten.
Ok… I could go on forever but I think I’ll end it here.*** Nobody was eliminated this week. Get your picks in everybody! THERE IS A GAME ON FRIDAY SO GET THEM IN ON THURSDAY!
*I guess.. third… because, as The Victor’s March states, Michigan is “The best team in the west”… Dammit Big Ten stop ruining things
**I picked Nebraska this week and was pretty sure that Rutgers was going to win this game just to spite me for dumping on them so hard over the last two years… I would have deserved it. Also they stopped winning as soon as Nebraska figured out not to throw the ball to Rutgers just because they have red jerseys.
***Ok one more… Rutgers’s (Rutgers’? what’s the correct grammar here? Is Rutgers plural? Is there a singular form: Rutger? anway…) The Rutgers mascot looks like Sparty… if Sparty were a cast member of “The Jersey Shore” who got kicked off the show for not doing enough steroids.