10/3/26 – Can a treaty be broken if the authors were illiterate?

Saturday October 1st.  Ann Arbor Michigan.  Wolverine fans have felt something building for several months… Tension, apprehension, fear.  It’s been raining non-stop for the past 2 days but for now, perhaps symbolically, the weather has cleared.  Suddenly, 110,000+ look up in shock and relief.  The scoreboard flashes 58-… what’s that?  fourteen?  No it was definitely fifty… Wisconsin?  Oh yeah… yeah that happened too.  Close game.. exciting.. anyway… The scoreboard flashes 58-0 something dawns on the crowd.  A figurative wave of realization sweeps over the crowd, unlike the literal wave of orchestrated raising and lowering of hands, which was surprisingly absent from yesterday’s third quarter… (Get your sh*t together student section!)  Ohio State has murdered Rutgers.  The alliance is over.  The treaty is broken.  Rutgers fans are shocked. “Former players couldn’t believe it when they heard about the betrayal,” said the Warden of a New Jersey Penitentiary.  “They are being us stabbed back with in knife,” claimed Secret order of the Bulls Blood President Ivan Alearnaread.  “Some other cliche about double cross” – the one Rutgers fan who made it out of New Jersey.  I, personally, fully expected both teams to join hands in the middle of the field and declare the game a draw.  Ohio State would then accept half of Rutgers’ losses and both would bond over being members of the two worst states ever… of all time.  But that didn’t happen.  Instead Ohio State destroyed their unsuspecting victim (who clearly could have made it a game had they not been so paralyzed by shock of treachery).  This day is one for the history books.

Meanwhile, back in Ann Arbor, fans and players were relieved that Michigan will no longer “being to fade into the folklore that was College football,” as was foretold at the signing of the now defunct treaty.  “Our guys had been working hard all year. Preparing.  Tough challenge to play against an alliance.  It’s good” – A man in Khaki’s  “We have a strong offense but it would have been hard to move the ball while protecting against a flank attack from another opponent.  I mean, yeah Rutgers is terrible but come on.  11 against 22 just doesn’t seem fair,” said Jake Butt, a guy I made up who happens to have the same name as Michigan’s starting Tight End (Seriously though guys… he’s a tight end… and his last name is Jake Butt!!).  “Why the hell is Rutgers in the Big Ten?” – Everyone Ever.

Elsewhere in the Big Ten:  Northwestern somehow developed an offense over the past week… (just kidding.  Iowa is probably just terrible).  Purdue decided to stop giving the ball to the other team on every third play… and still lost by a thousand.  Maybe DJ Durkalerk has turned the Terps into a respectable Big Ten team (Possible, but Purdue is also terrible)?  Bad football team Penn State showed that Minnesota is also bad at football.  Nebraska beat Illinois as expected.  And the Spartans… Sorry guys, I really thought calling out the Indiana Jynx would nullify its powers.  Somebody must have eaten poultry while the score was tied.

Here are this weeks results.  Lots of eliminations.  Send my your picks!