So what an eventful Saturday. We saw lots of people hitting and running really fast and women in uniforms with very short skirts and a guy who’d been buried for 8 months be resurrected by a puddle that was basically the Lazarus pit but not the Lazarus pit for some reason…
we went to see The Justice League. I thought it was good. Also I’ve learned that I can’t watch movies anymore without HISHEing comments throughout the whole thing… In it there’s a newspaper with a headline that I almost couldn’t stop myself getting kicked out for singing “I’m thinking AYYEE AAYYYEEE AYYEE YEAH!”. Sorry people who watch movies with me…Anyway
More “enjoyable” than BvS or, I guess more entertaining?… It felt quicker (It was.. but also the pacing was good), didn’t contain as much weird stuff that should have been cut, didn’t cut a bunch of stuff that might have made it make sense… Side note: I didn’t mind Batman vs Superman… There is a good movie in there somewhere that was kinda ruined by bad editing… and a bad Lex Luthor (I have a solution to this problem though… Rewatch the movie and pretend that Jesse Facebook is actually playing “The Joker” instead of “Lex”. It explains both the character’s twitchy mannerisms and the missing motive. It’s also a much better Joker than Jared Lehto’s) Also the whole Doomsday plot line could have been cut and the movie would have been 40 min shorter and 3 times less unnecessary. BUT I liked Affleck’s Batman. It was very “Dark Knight Returns’s”(The animated movie) “I’m old and grumpy now” Batman. His motive to take on Superman was justified and somewhat consistent with other Batman stories even if it was undeveloped in this film.
Anyway, Justice League is more entertaining. It moves quickly, the characters are all good. I’d watch solo movies of any of them. The story is ok and not convoluted. It doesn’t have a million unrelated and uninteresting things going on at the same time… My biggest complaint is that the villain kinda sucks. DC’s big advantage over Marvel is outstanding villains and the latest films have really not capitalized on this. The Joker is the best villain ever. Lex Luthor is great when he’s the super charismatic character that Supes and the JL aren’t quite sure they can trust. Deathstroke, Deadshot, Harley Quinn, Malcolm Merlyn, The Condiment King… All villains you kind of like or at least can sympathize with… They have real stories, real motivations, and they’re not just more powerful versions of the heroes. Iron Man always fights evil Iron Man. Hulk fights Abomination. Captain America fights… normal humans and morality and eventually his best friend who also got Captain America Steroids. X-men just fought Apocalypse, Guardians is building towards Thanos… DC keeps mentioning Darkseid… these are all the same bad guy. There are so many better stories to explore… Stop it with the purple/blue space gods, the lava rock horned fire gods, all powerful cubes that can destroy the planet, or make giant robots out of cars, or destroy the galaxy… At least pick a new goddamn shape! How about a triangle? Those are way stronger than cubes…
Some of you may be thinking “Man… this is a very long and strange analogy for football.” … Yes, Yes it is.*
*No It’s not. I just didn’t feel like talking about how Purdue knocked me out of the other league by beating Iowa… Or that Harbaugh hasn’t won anything. And Michigan’s offensive line sucks. And Wisconsin killed our quarterback. And this year vs OSU: instead of starting a good QB who is banged up we have, in order of potential effectiveness. 1. redshirt freshman with a concussion who probably won’t dress much less play. 2. A guy who was playing like crap even before Purdue went full Bane and broke his back (Hey look! I did relate football to Batman after all!) and 3. John OKorn… so… yeah… Justice League was pretty good. The world’s a subway… subway AYEEE!